Moderation
There’s something about doing things within moderation that often seems to escape us. Not just me, although certainly me. We bite off more than we can chew.
I decided I was going to do some painting yesturday. No big deal. Just a couple of walls. In fact just one wall and one partial wall. But it’s a big deal for me and I know that. And I decided to top it off with planting two plants. Not good. Very not good. But it seems like such a little amount of stuff, doesn’t it?
I should have had a clue when the guy at Lowe’s said it was quick when I returned to get the second pint of paint. Normally it covers in one coat but it was needing two coats of “Delightful Moon.” I should have had a clue at the store when my arm was going numb, before I ever put the roller into the paint. But I was determined. Determination gets you to push through pain. So I did the first wall, all the way through the second coat, and into the store for the second can, back home and completed the second coat and started the second partial wall first coat before I knew I needed to lie down.
I talked with a guy on Friday. He had neuropathy for 7 or 8 years prior to the development of diabetes. He had 7 or 8 years to get his diet under control while he just had the pins and needles feeling in his feet. But he didn’t do that. He didn’t do that and the pins and needles of neuropathy migrated to his hands. He didn’t do that despite the familt history of diabetes. He didn’t do that because although he knew his diet was insane regarding sugar and carbohydrates, his blood sugar readings weren’t completely stupid so he continued. Now he takes insulin. I understand that.
There are a bunch of MDs who would scream at me about yesturday if they knew. Something on the order of “You did WHAT? On a ladder? Painting? Whatever for?” For the sense of being normal. In the past the diabetic guy could eat sugar. In the past I could paint four walls without pain, maybe even six. In the past we were healthy people.
There are lots of people like that. The people who can’t drink, who can’t gample, who can’t walk far, who can’t breathe well. The people who are at the wake up points of their illnesses. The you better take care of this or else points. The moderation points. The points where you have to cut back seriously or face the dire consequences and some of them may be fatal points.
Psychologists call what I did yesturday denial. It’s a fancy word meaning you hold your middle finger up to whatever is wrong with you and make the challenge. Sooner or later it holds up it’s own middle finger and challenges back victorious. Neener neener. It’s part of figuring it out. People toy with illnesses that can be life threatening. They come in to their SSDI evaluations not taking their medications for several days to make their conditions seem much worse and to let themselves think that maybe they don’t really need to take them. It’s a dance. I don’t dance with my medications. I dance with my activity level.
I was told to be sedentary. Not much more than stretching. A little bit of exercise is good, more than that and there would be hell to pay. I was told that in the 1990’s. That was long before there was quite so much wrong. Occasionally I would try more than stretching. Not good. I could do some stuff but not a lot. Yesturday was a lot. Not good. So I get to spend most of the day in pain and resting. The pain is my own fault. You live you learn and you hopefully do less next time.
