Malingering psychological illness
People come into the office and decide they just aren’t sick enough on their own so they have to make themselves seem to be much worse than they are. They complicate my job. Some do it because they have character flaws and want sympathy. Some are scam artists and have nothing wrong with them at all and are trying to get a check out of the system. Some just think the illness they have isn’t quite good enough and if they embellish they are more likely to get approved for disability. It’s hard trying to tell them apart. When they get their children involved in the scams or the embellishments or their character flaws it’s awful.
I saw a brilliant little boy yesturday. I don’t use the term brilliant lightly. He was acting up in the waiting room in a manner that was, well, intentional. When he was removed from the waiting room by staff he was fine away from his mother. Think of her as conducting and orchestrating the whole presentation of this child. My ethnicity is mixed. I have some gypsy heritage. I recognized that this was a gypsy family and heard the mother’s subtle accent as Romani, the language of gypsys. Now I have seen gypsys who do not malinger. There are a lot of genetic disorders in the community. They have a lot of legitimate needs. In addition a brilliant child needs special education services as much as a child who is well below average. The child stopped putting on any show for me and did well for me in the office. I found him delightful. The evaluation of him went smoothly. I asked him if he spoke another language besides English and he said he spoke gypsy sometimes at home. I spoke to the mother in private about her behavior with the child in the office. She has a choice for him and his life. She was educated to the 7th grade and pulled out of school. It’s the custom. Actually 7th grade is fairly high. Often it’s 5th or 6th grade. Then the children are immersed in the culture of the Romani. The rest of the world is unclean outsiders. A few gypsies go on to college but it is rare.
My great great grandmother was a village healer from Siberia, Russia. The gypsies were removed from most of Europe and expelled to the vast wastelands of Russia or forced to live in small meandering groups. She was not educated in the traditional sense. Stories about her have been passed down through the generations. She married my great great grandfather as a mail order bride. My grandfather wanted to help people and create generations of healers. Some of the ideas of the gypsy culture took hold in the family. There were secrets. There was interfamily marriage and resulting offspring. There were some criminal elements introduced.
I understand that people decide to try to get things they want with little effort. I also understand that people decide to try to get things they feel entitled to. I know that when people get sick they get frightened and that leads them to become desperate. I understand criminals and people who scam the system, some of those people are relatives of mine. I get all that. I do not understand introducing children to the idea of being entitled to get something for nothing. I do not understand intentionally teaching children how to try to mislead adults. I do not understand coaching children to malinger. It breaks my heart.
